Hi readers and friends, You may have noticed a new name in your inbox or Substack app. You probably don’t remember signing up for Get Real, Man. This is not some spam email. I’ve changed this newsletter’s name from Whose Mountain to Get Real, Man. Why now and why Get Real, Man?
Loved this, Latham. Everything so true and relatable. I, too, wanted to follow the script of the perfect dad with my boy. But then I realized that life is really different for everyone. As simple as that. And that's fine. We get to write our own scripts on the fly. This piece pairs well with the one you wrote for your daughter's birthday, which I also loved. Lots of good stuff in your stories. Lots of good stuff. I'm a big fan, and you know that.
Thank you Silvio. It's amazing how much easier things get when we accept that everyone has their own unique challenges and opportunities. My son's ASD was the moment that really hit home and I realized I needed to go off script. Not that I was great at scripting big scenes anyways, but realizing he needed unique support gave me the freedom to not feel ashamed when I couldn't deliver on the big scenes.
I love having you as a fan here and as a friend off Substack. And I'm glad you like the name. It took a lot of self-reflection to figure it out. But it feels really good.
This is great stuff man. So very real. Brings me back to the time my daughter hurt her ankle on the playground. By the way she screamed, I knew it wasn't normal, but we still had to walk a few blocks back to the house. I found her a walking stick, and she limped home. Then we went to pick up her mom from the airport, then to dinner, and back home a few hours later. She complained the entire time on and off. When we took her shoe off, her ankle was purple and the size of a softball. We found out at the ER it was broken. None of us parents are perfect...
Oh man. I've been there. I once got so mad at my son for refusing to go back to camp after he fell of the swing. I think I even said "this arm better be broken if you're going to skip camp while I'm trying to work." 😬. It was broken after all and I felt like a terrible dad in that moment.
I hope your daughter has recovered. And I hope you can all laugh about it now.
Oh yeah, it's all good now. My mom did the same thing with my brother when he fell out of the bunk bead and complained about his arm. She sent him back to bed. Turns out it was broken. We are none of us perfect.
Latham, such a good story. I've had the same fantasies of being a good Dad, which hopefully will happen open one day. Nothing else to add other than how wonderful it was to read all of this. You kept me glued to the page and delighted through the gory details.
Love the rebrand as well! The about me page gives us such a powerful snapshot of who you are. I love the momentum you are having my friend. Keep it up!
Damn you tapped right into the pulse of parenthood. All of the expectation and visualization and rehearsed speeches of big scenes at pivotal moments (who we want to be), and then the stitches and blood, non-stop wailing reality of who we are. I’m sure C will remember your bravery and consolation, and when he recounts it to his children it will be a beautiful loving memory of you. I really loved this Latham. Congratulations on the new change!
I couldn't imagine any dad not being able to relate to the vulnerable and tender poignancy of this—having all those ideals and images and hopes and expectations of oneself and one's kids, and then meeting the messy, imperfect reality of being human with the real details of our lives. It felt you were coming up alongside my life and letting me know it's okay, we all go through it.
Thank you Rick. I'm always so grateful for your support and guidance. It was quite the Friday last week. As you said, messy imperfect reality is so right.
I’m excited for your rebrand Latham! And thank you for sharing this glimpse into your life. I hope C has a speedy recovery too. Also, big fan of home improvement haha
Home Improvement was so good back in the day. We'd watch it with our parents every week. I can still remember so many scenes, and wanting to build a hot rod like he had.
C is recovering well. Our biggest issue is he's going stir crazy since he's not allowed to go to Jie-Jitsu until he gets the stitches out.
Reminds me of the asymmetry of loss aversion a little bit. You can give it your all and go for 'dad of the year' pedal to the metal. And, 95/100 times you do great. But those 5/100 times where you make a "mistake" or were distracted... those are too painful. They're going to happen. It's reality. You just have to recover. Nice recovery, Dad 😊
Thank you Frank. I've gotten good at recovering. And I feel like I'm learning to flow with him and let him take the lead. I think the biggest change is the mindset shift. Kind of like loss aversion, if you get so stuck trying to avoid the loss, you never see the possibilities.
Yes!! We love a rebrand and a piece on fatherhood. So excited to read all the brilliant stories, musings, and anecdotes you have to share with the world.
Loved this, Latham. Everything so true and relatable. I, too, wanted to follow the script of the perfect dad with my boy. But then I realized that life is really different for everyone. As simple as that. And that's fine. We get to write our own scripts on the fly. This piece pairs well with the one you wrote for your daughter's birthday, which I also loved. Lots of good stuff in your stories. Lots of good stuff. I'm a big fan, and you know that.
PS: I like the new name. A lot. :)
Thank you Silvio. It's amazing how much easier things get when we accept that everyone has their own unique challenges and opportunities. My son's ASD was the moment that really hit home and I realized I needed to go off script. Not that I was great at scripting big scenes anyways, but realizing he needed unique support gave me the freedom to not feel ashamed when I couldn't deliver on the big scenes.
I love having you as a fan here and as a friend off Substack. And I'm glad you like the name. It took a lot of self-reflection to figure it out. But it feels really good.
Beautiful! and well written. Great piece Latham.
This is great stuff man. So very real. Brings me back to the time my daughter hurt her ankle on the playground. By the way she screamed, I knew it wasn't normal, but we still had to walk a few blocks back to the house. I found her a walking stick, and she limped home. Then we went to pick up her mom from the airport, then to dinner, and back home a few hours later. She complained the entire time on and off. When we took her shoe off, her ankle was purple and the size of a softball. We found out at the ER it was broken. None of us parents are perfect...
Oh man. I've been there. I once got so mad at my son for refusing to go back to camp after he fell of the swing. I think I even said "this arm better be broken if you're going to skip camp while I'm trying to work." 😬. It was broken after all and I felt like a terrible dad in that moment.
I hope your daughter has recovered. And I hope you can all laugh about it now.
Oh yeah, it's all good now. My mom did the same thing with my brother when he fell out of the bunk bead and complained about his arm. She sent him back to bed. Turns out it was broken. We are none of us perfect.
Latham, such a good story. I've had the same fantasies of being a good Dad, which hopefully will happen open one day. Nothing else to add other than how wonderful it was to read all of this. You kept me glued to the page and delighted through the gory details.
Love the rebrand as well! The about me page gives us such a powerful snapshot of who you are. I love the momentum you are having my friend. Keep it up!
Thank you Camilo. I have a feeling you're going to be a great dad some day. And I can't wait to watch that unfold.
Wow, did this did feel real man! Congrats on an awesome rebrand debut
Extremely sad but very well written, Latham
Damn you tapped right into the pulse of parenthood. All of the expectation and visualization and rehearsed speeches of big scenes at pivotal moments (who we want to be), and then the stitches and blood, non-stop wailing reality of who we are. I’m sure C will remember your bravery and consolation, and when he recounts it to his children it will be a beautiful loving memory of you. I really loved this Latham. Congratulations on the new change!
I couldn't imagine any dad not being able to relate to the vulnerable and tender poignancy of this—having all those ideals and images and hopes and expectations of oneself and one's kids, and then meeting the messy, imperfect reality of being human with the real details of our lives. It felt you were coming up alongside my life and letting me know it's okay, we all go through it.
Thank you Rick. I'm always so grateful for your support and guidance. It was quite the Friday last week. As you said, messy imperfect reality is so right.
Beautiful piece, thanks for sharing Latham. Love your drawings too!
Thank you Charlotte. C didn't love his drawn image when I showed it to him, but that's okay.
I’m excited for your rebrand Latham! And thank you for sharing this glimpse into your life. I hope C has a speedy recovery too. Also, big fan of home improvement haha
Home Improvement was so good back in the day. We'd watch it with our parents every week. I can still remember so many scenes, and wanting to build a hot rod like he had.
C is recovering well. Our biggest issue is he's going stir crazy since he's not allowed to go to Jie-Jitsu until he gets the stitches out.
Reminds me of the asymmetry of loss aversion a little bit. You can give it your all and go for 'dad of the year' pedal to the metal. And, 95/100 times you do great. But those 5/100 times where you make a "mistake" or were distracted... those are too painful. They're going to happen. It's reality. You just have to recover. Nice recovery, Dad 😊
Thank you Frank. I've gotten good at recovering. And I feel like I'm learning to flow with him and let him take the lead. I think the biggest change is the mindset shift. Kind of like loss aversion, if you get so stuck trying to avoid the loss, you never see the possibilities.
Thanks for reading.
I'm crying harder than C and laughing too.
Thanks Karena. What a Friday!
Sounds like you're doing a little better than Tim the Toolman Taylor!
Yes!! We love a rebrand and a piece on fatherhood. So excited to read all the brilliant stories, musings, and anecdotes you have to share with the world.
Thank you Grace.
I know he is corn fed tuff.
I am glad he is ok.
Will want to see the scar when he gets to LA.
I am sad beyond words. Cannot imagine the pain he may have gone through.
God bless him.
Don't worry, he's a tough kid (as you know). And he got ice cream after, so he was happy. Maybe you can talk him into showing you his scar.