Watching the sun rise in me

Poetry as non-duality

Hello dear friend. You may have noticed it’s been some time since I’ve been here. Or maybe you didn’t notice, and that’s okay too. I certainly noticed though; I missed sharing this space with all of you. There are a number of reasons for the absence. First, I started homeschooling my son this year, and it hasn’t allowed as much time for writing. Yet it’s been a wonderful gift (most of the time) and I feel blessed to be able to spend the time and attention with him. Secondly, I’ve been spending the last few weeks in intense spiritual study, including a retreat last week. There is lots to say and nothing to say at the same time, so bear with me please as I continue experiencing the wonderful gift that this time of study has been, and share with you all as I can.

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Ra, Helios, Sol all rise:
the great orb, the golden eye,
behind the darkened silhouette
encroaching upon the sky's gentle blue palette 
to paint swathes of 
purples, yellows, oranges
and fires of beauty that ignite the emptiness 
between her and me.

Yet even as the sun rises,
your disciple is not at peace.
I cannot rest in experiencing, wondering, being.
Thought rises with the Gods:
the angle, the hue, the trajectory, imagining the perfect model of the sun
an idea of the world.
I see the idea, but who sees me?

Soon, the rest of the world will rise
and together we will feel the golden rays,
hear the warmth across our backs,
taste the life-giving love,
and see the divine potential
as the gods drive the sun across the sky, and we drive with them.

There is only experience.
There is only the master.
No thought, only me.

Later, the dripping pinks of the last light will run onto my etched soul
while I set as peace,
allowing the Gods, the world, the creation and destruction of another day to go on without me.
As I sit: beyond time and space, beyond color and warmth, beyond self and Self,
within being.

Until tomorrow, when I forget anew what I am.

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Trying to get at non-dual understanding through words feels akin to trying to show someone your worldview. I suddenly understand haiku, but can’t reproduce it with the effect I want. But this felt like a start, like a chance to show the negative space and the struggle at once. I suspect this is a subject I’ll be playing with for a while.

What have you known but been unable to explain to anyone? And what are the examples that move your understanding of life?

Please share, so that we may all see what is possible.