19 Comments
User's avatar
randy's avatar

“I can’t ignore the dread that I might be letting my family down.” - This hits hard. I feel this strong pull to walk away from my job and do something, but I'm not sure what. This feeling that I may be letting my family down by doing so is what prevents me from taking action.

I appreciate you sharing your feelings and your perspective on this topic.

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Thanks Randy. I've done a lot of work to accept that fear. It's really hard, especially when we've got kids who look up to us. But I also know I'm a better dad when I seek fullness in my own life. So it's both sides of one coin. But yeah, definitely not always easy.

Expand full comment
Sairam Sundaresan's avatar

This is a line that I resonate with so much " My wife carries the weight of those responsibilities, but I can’t be selfish forever. I know I’m going to have to figure it out." . Beautiful essay, Latham. Might I say, I'm so glad that you're "just being" :)

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Thank you Sairam. I'm grateful for your support and encouragement.

Expand full comment
Lindsey Johnson's avatar

I really love how this all came together. The last line. Man.

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Thanks Lindsey.

Expand full comment
Sandra Yvonne's avatar

"My soul goal is to make something beautiful."

Loved this, Latham!

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Thank you Sandra. This one was really enjoyable to write.

Expand full comment
Alex Michael's avatar

So, so good. The definitions - chef's kiss

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Thanks for helping me get it to what it became. I'm grateful to have friends like you.

Expand full comment
Natasha Turner's avatar

This is good - one of your best, I think.

Expand full comment
Michelle Elisabeth Varghese's avatar

I really resonated with this! When I left my job and decided to not apply for a new one, I used to hate when conversations turned about work and what I was doing. I had a lot of my own processing to do (thank you writing) and I think I felt a similar dissonance where I was happy and yet it was hard to explain to people how you could be happy without the next thing already planned out. Also, I know I can still be guilty of asking this too, which I always want to do less of because it's not even the thing I find most interesting about people.

Expand full comment
Chris Wong's avatar

I felt really engaged with this essay. I've had the productivity bug for a long time and it still nags at me. Letting things just "be" is hard enough without everyone asking you about it.

Expand full comment
Alaina Drake's avatar

Lolol that party experience...I felt that hard!

Expand full comment
Alaina Drake's avatar

Also, I truly believe that if you let yourself "be" for long enough, you will figure it out.

Expand full comment
Bowen Dwelle's avatar

Great to come across your writing by way of Sarah Fay's workshop this afternoon. We have some things in common -- first of all, the current (and perhaps not forever) name of my own Substack, Decide Nothing, came as a response to people asking me, "What's next?" starting about 10 minutes after I sold my business. Also a huge fan of CTFO -- and, more importantly, just being.

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Thank you Bowen. That was such a great workshop. I'm glad to meet other writers thinking about the same questions.

I love the Decide Nothing story. I briefly looked at your writing, and I'm excited to read more. Thanks for following up and for reading my writing.

Expand full comment
Dr. Lyssa Menard's avatar

It's hard living a cultural climate that allows no space for grief. Even the loss of a *person* – a loved one. We're expected to make quick work of the emotional trail. Our businesses are our babies, and that loss is real. I'm glad you're giving yourself what you need. You're a role model for taking space and meeting your experience.

Expand full comment
G. Michael McDowell's avatar

Man, you’re finding a different path. The natural path of being and for feck’s sake, a balanced path. Did hunter gatherer work 60 hours a week? Nonsense.

Also, I’m moving to saying that I am experiencing joy when the wetness behind my eyes comes along. It’s expanding and grounding when I know what the sensations are that signal me.

Keep Going!

Expand full comment